They say once people get hurt, they will stay rotten as long as they shall live. I recently came to believe that, if that is so, I should not be feeling myself at this time. I've been hurt and deceived (as if that is only what skin can take) and for a few years until now I've not been like I used to be. The thing is we can only be deceived and rotten as long as we are hurt and damaged. We are deceived and, yeah, for some time after it, we are still deceived. But once you tell yourself "some time" is "forever", you instantly spoil your natural you in that sort of changed way of being. You make way for that cultural forms of living; spreading its words of changing (and barely truthful ones) instead of growing that acultural, natural, appropriate, good and joyful way of living that have been yours even before you sat down and could just not bear your own thoughts, crying. The way that suits yourself, that suits your own life since you have had to make the choices of your own and, finally, that suits all the kinds of pain you've already been through.
Well, since the moment I wake up until the last second of wakeness of my last days, I can see myself clearly claiming my natural me. And, on top of this all, feeling it. Really fucking feeling it.
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